Ahhh! I mean Arrrrrggghhhhhh! John Galliano, you misread the brief! It explicity said ‘wants to look like fairy princess bride with pretty flounces but I don’t want to look too large around the hips! A train would be lovely too.’

And what did you do?! Thought hah, I shall throw out the rule book! Mind you it’s not like she can catch you to hurt you in this erm, modern take on contemporary style. Be gone foul beasty!