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Debates #7 – Should the groom be involved with planning?

By admin on August 2nd, 2006 4 comments

Top_hatIt seems eloping bothers you lot not a jot. Rosie mentioned seeing an assembly line of couples waiting to tie the knot when she was abroad and also mentioned the pleasure of having family on holiday with you. Both thoughts have put me right off!

So, here’s this weeks debate – how far should the groom get involved with planning? Being that many men haven’t evolved much from their Neandertholic ancestors and can barely make it round a shop without sobbing that they need a gameboy to play with, can we really expect them to get involved to the nth degree in colour schemes and seating arrangements? On the other hand, it is their wedding too and shouldn’t they have some input? Having said that, they did propose (and hopefully in a romantic, unexpected way) and should we just be thankful that they remember to turn up on the day?

So much to think about, so little time, but tell me your thoughts anyway!

  • Ariana

    I would say that you can easily ask for his opinions and involvement as much as you want. Chances are he will have some input, but will get so bored with the other details that he’ll expect you to take care of them and not bother him with it. This way, you’ve asked for his input and if he doesn’t like something you can say, “Well, I asked and you told me to take care of it.” It is more than likely he won’t even notice if the table cloth is fushia and not magenta.

  • JuicyLucy

    Men are hopeless. Fact. Just today I asked my “better” half to post a wedding invitation to a friend of mine. You guessed it, he forgot.If he isn’t even capable of doing that then how in the bejeesus is he supposed to help with the strategic and logistical fanfare that is a wedding. The answer? He’s not. Leave the men out of it. The female of the species should just be left alone to plan. Example: “A favour? Why are you doing our guests a favour?” he asks. “No darling” I reply. “It’s a wedding favor – a gift for saying thank you”. To which he replies “Oh. Jesus they’ve got a cheek. They’re the ones who are supposed to give us presents”.

    I rest my case.

  • Lulu

    It all depends on your man. The same guys who have high standards for their personal style, from clothing to home decor, would certainly want to showcase that style for the people closest to them, on one of the most important days of their lives. I think many of the more “modern” men out there would actually enjoy being a part of the planning — I think mine, for one, would want to be involved.

    That said, even if he weren’t that particular breed of stylish and control-seeking, I would expect him to display at least a modicum of caring for the event planning. It might sound a little harsh, but if he’s too bored, afraid or apathetic to even check in on the planning process once in a while, this probably doesn’t bode too well for future mundane aspects of life.

    In any case, best of luck to all brides-to-be out there!!! =)

  • Seanonymous

    Wedding planning ability aside, there are practical reasons why we men may need to keep an arms length from the planning process.

    Suppose you delegate some responsibilities to your hubby-to-be and he develops strong feelings about a chosen vendor. Perhaps he really likes a certain wedding band or thinks it’s just not a wedding limo unless it’s a Rolls Royce. You may even agree with him. Now suppose your parents (the ones who are footing the bill) disagree. Now isn’t that fun.

    Better to assign the groom tasks then to put him in charge of anything, at least if there’s money concerned (and in wedding planning, there always is).

    If the groom feels he needs to be in control of something, send him to the travel agent. Honeymoons don’t just happen, after all.

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