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Who Picked Your Engagement Ring?

By admin on October 20th, 2006 7 comments

Ring Tradition has it that a man about to propose should spend one month’s salary on an engagement ring, and surprise his bride to be with it. Now, I have no idea whether my future husband spent one month’s salary (Well, it’s pretty hard to work it into the conversation, isn’t it? "Oh, that’s lovely, darling! How much did it cost?") on my ring, but he did surprise me with it. I was surprised to be surprised: I’m notoriously fussy about the things I wear, and Terry notoriously isn’t, so I always assumed that if/when we decided to get married, a joint shopping trip would be in order.

Actually, he managed pretty well with the picking of the ring: probably because he’d spent a good few months beforehand showing me pictures and asking me what kind of thing I liked. (No, subtlety’s never been his strong point, I’m afraid…) I think he probably just decided it would be more romantic to surprise me, and he was right.

I sometimes wonder, though, what would have happened if he’d somehow managed to pick a ring I hated. I don’t think I could ever have brought myself to tell him, so I guess I’d have been stuck with it for the rest of my days! A lot of brides I know just won’t take the risk, though, and I know of a lot of men who’ve proposed with cheap costume rings, and then whisked her off for a romantic shopping trip later (Sounds good to me…). What about you? Was your engagement ring his choice or yours?

  • Alexis

    I am also seriously choosy. I got the best of both worlds. He bought a diamond and got the jewelry store to set it in the simplest band and proposed with that. I was so surprised I almost fell down. Then we went to pick out the setting I will have forever together. They changed out the rock and that was it. The simple one was really nice and the surprise is something I’ll never forget, but now we both know I’ve got a ring I’m crazy for. Couldn’t be better.

  • MacKenzie

    The boy and I went on a variety of shopping trips together before he proposed. We didn’t find anything that “popped” and then my mother sprung on me that we could have my grandmother’s engagement ring. It was in yellow gold, which I normally won’t wear, so I set off on a quest looking for something a little more “me” so I could wear the ring.

    I didn’t find anything, but I stumbled upon the ring of my dreams, the carved curls band from Krikawa. I respectfully declined my mother’s fantastic offer and the boy and I split the cost of the Krikawa ring.

    He wanted one too, so he picked that out, and now we’re just waiting for it to arrive. We love going dutch, so we decided to do that with both the rings and leave the proposals (both of us are proposing) a surprise.

  • Ariana

    My future sister-in-law was gracious enough to give a resounding “Yes” to her suitor, but a “no” to the ring (not at the same time of course). She told him that she wanted nothing more than to marry him and then later asked if they could pick out a ring together. My fiancé, on the other hand, was sneaky and I had no idea that he was looking. He actually asked friends and family and paid attention to what I liked to find my ring. He actually did an amazing job and I don’t think I could have found one that I love any more than this one. Oddly enough, I always thought I’d be the one to pick it.

  • I chose my ring, although everyone else’s stories seem much more romantic than mine, so I kinda wish he’d sprung a proposal on me! That said, getting married was something he was ready for before I was, so when I was ready, he took me ring shopping, and we looked for ages before I found and promptly fell in love with my ring 🙂

    He was happy that I got a ring that I really loved, and I was happy with him and the ring! All works out in the end 😉

  • Fi

    My fiance surprised with both the proposal AND the ring – and I absolutely love the ring, it is so “me” I really couldn’t have chosen better myself. And he had had it for months, but was just waiting for the right time (which turned out to be on a trip to Paris…) I am a lucky girl!!!

  • Sarah

    He proposed and of course I said yes, but I do not have the heart to tell him the ring is just not me. I feel so aweful for even typing this as I love him and I would not want to hurt his feelings but I think I am going to tell him that I would like to exchange the ring or make some adjustments to it. I hope this does not sound ungrateful or demeaning, but I think he is going to take it that way. I will explain to him that I have to wear it for all of eternity so I would like something that does not poke into my skin(yes, it’s pointy)

  • Terresa

    First, he shocked me to death with a beautiful big princess cut from a big chain jewelry store. As soon as I said yes, he decided he wanted to get something better, more original and unique, to represent us. I got a temporary, fake ring from a department store and we returned the classy but generic original ring. We shopped around until the fake was wearing thin, about a month, and finally found a nice local jeweler who had just decided to retire and close the store. I would visit the shop daily to fawn and swoon over the rings, but I had almost immediately become obsessed with a luxe three stone asscher cut ring that definately exeeding what I had hoped he would spend on it. I asked him to come look at it with me, and when he did, we left the store with both his wedding band and mine. He pointed out a different ring, that was lovely and unique, and much much less expensive than the one I had become infatuated with. He was able to purchase the both the smaller ring and an absolutely devastating opal necklace for roughly the same amount that I spent on his diamond studded platnium eternity band, and still less than my fancy schmancy asscher ring would have cost alone. So it all makes lovely sense… but of course, I am a callous idiot, so I had to go and muck it all up. After a few weeks I still had diamond fever. I would find excuses to go and lurk at the jewelry shop, circling the asscher ring like a maniacal crow. I still dreamed of looking at it on my finger and imagined the slight I would feel if I saw someone else wearing it. The decision to commit to the ring I didn’t truly desire was a foolish one. I prided myself for building up the courage to speak to him, but I certainly wish I had listened to the little voice that tried to stop me later on. I blurted out that I had been to the shop and *that* ring was still there and that I thought I could sell *this* one on E-Bay for more than we paid for it and maybe we could afford to go back and get *that* ring. I was alittle concerned that he might take it the wrong way, but I thought it was a fairly straight forward proposal. I was considering offering to pay him for the difference but it didn’t matter because his objections were not financial. When I expressed my ambivilance about the ring, I created an atmosphere of doubt where my FH was most likely found identifying himself with the ring and wondering if he would inevitably be tossed aside for an ‘upgrade’ sooner, or later. He simply stated that if I truly wanted that ring I should have made that decision in the first place and should not have taken a ring I didn’t want. He said that he felt the ring looked beautiful on me, and that when he first saw me put it on he was moved and that’s why he reccomended it so much. He was very injured and he even went so far as to say that if I wanted another ring that perhaps I should find another man to give it to me. Unfortunately, I am desperately in love with this gentleman, so as soon as I started to realize how deeply I had hurt him by casually asking to exchange my ring, my heart was in my boots. I gently and firmly told him that his feelings were important to me and that I respected his desicion and admitted that I was already devolping a sentimental attatchment that I had been warned about by the potential ring exchangiers, and immediately trashed any and all thoughts of changing my ring. All of this seemed to soothe him and he eventually calmed down, but all in all I felt terrible for bringing him down. I know some people may say he’s sensitive or insecure, but really, who isn’t? We didn’t come from perfect homes and we do have issues but the fact is that we have very very deep feelings for eachother and want to build a life and a family together. The moral of my story is this: Step lightly in the garden of love, don’t tread on the flowers of a heart, but tend them constantly. Enjoy both the sweetness that the garden offers and the muddy labors it requires to keep them not just surviving but thriving. Every day you must recall how greatful you are that you get to be in this special garden, and treat it with the respect and reverence it deserves. Water it with your best grace. If the world takes all your grace and you have nothing but anger left to give, throw yourself to the earth with humilty rather than thrashing your garden. For if you resist destroying your garden and rather collapse into it’s grace, it will be there when you rise with fruit at your feet to nourish you when you need it the most. There are so many ways to kill a garden, but there is only one way to keep one, and that is with a tender hand and constant vigilence.

    P.S. I’m also now looking into using the unique design of my ring as a design theme for the wedding…. I think he’ll really like that.

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