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Would You Be Offended if Your Groom Wouldn’t Wear a Ring?

By admin on October 6th, 2006 11 comments


Amber says … As those of you who frequent the Bridalwave section of the Shiny Fashion Forums will know, I’m getting married on March 31st next year. The latest box to get ticked on the "To Do" list was the buying of the rings, which we managed to do yesterday. It was actually pretty scary: in much the same way that we put in an offer on our house after having been in it for no more than fifteen minutes, we managed to find the perfect rings within about ten minutes of walking into the jeweller’s store.

Considering that I’m going to be wearing this ring for the rest of my life (Well, unless Sawyer from Lost knocks on the door with a bunch of roses and a cheeky grin, obviously.), and that I’ll happily spend much more time than that debating whether or not to buy a pair of shoes, I was pretty surprised.

What surprised me most about the whole thing, though, was how excited Terry, my fiance, managed to get about choosing his wedding ring. It’s parr for the course for me to get excited about the purchase of pretty, shiny things, but as someone who rarely wears jewellery except for a watch (and even then leaves it sitting on the bedside table more often than not) I was curious to see how Terry would adapt to the idea of suddenly wearing a ring every day.

Well, the true test of that will come after the wedding of course, but so far the signs are good, and it was only when I saw him admiring his wedding ring that it occurred to me to wonder how I’d have felt if he hadn’t wanted to wear one. I know a lot of men who don’t – mostly because they’re just not jewellery wearers and, after a lifetime of going unadorned, aren’t about to start wearing fancy rings now, thanks very much.

It all comes down to personal choice in the end, of course, but if I’m completely honest, I think I’d perhaps have felt just a little bit hurt if Terry hadn’t wanted to wear a wedding ring – if only because it would make for a bit of an awkward pause during the "exchanging of rings" part of the ceremony! Then again, maybe I’m just being territorial, and wanting to "mark" my man as taken – a thought that doesn’t really thrill me much either.

So, what about you? Is your groom going to be wearing a wedding ring? And if not, how do you feel about it?

  • Reishka

    I would be highly offended if my groom wouldn’t wear a ring. Normally, I’m not a very materialistic type of person, but when it comes to the subject of marriage and rings and vows – some things I just can’t find myself to be swayed on. The ring is the most widely-accepted symbol of commitment. I want my groom to be proud that he’s married to me — and show it! To me, a man that refuses to wear a wedding ring is either hiding something or doesn’t want to be married in the first place.

  • I asked my boyfriend this a while ago and he said men from his culture don’t wear wedding rings. Needless to say if he can’t bring himself to show that he is actually married, and can’t even manage to respect my wishes on this issue, then the wedding won’t be happening any time soon.

  • For some men it simply isn’t practical. If he works an office job and doesn’t want to then I’d be offended, but My father is a Mechanic and its a risk to his life if he wore a wedding ring at work. Since he’s at work more than he’s at home, he doesn’t even own a wedding ring, and I think that’s entirely fine and my mother doesn’t give two hoots.

  • Helen

    My H2B is a farmer and it just isn’t practical to wear a ring when doing mucky jobs that farms involve! He is thinking about wearing one for when we go out, but to me that defeats the point. I don’t mind if he doesn’t wear one as we will know we are both commited to each other regardless of the jewellery we wear. Besides, my dad has never worn one and my parents haven’t had any problems!!

  • Interesting responses… I think in situations where a man can’t wear a ring because of work etc, then that’s not a problem. If he could wear one but refused to, though, I think I’d probably wonder why…

  • Yes, I would be offended! I think it should be an equal thing- it is supposed to be an exchange of rings, as you say! My ex-boyfriend’s Dad wouldn’t wear one, and he said he wouldn’t either… I found it a bit immature myself. A man who wants to show his devotion to you is very attractive. Plus, it makes life easier for us single gals! 😉 xx

  • lou

    my dad never had a wedding ring because he does a fair bit of mechanical work so he’d be forever taking the ring off and on (or getting his finger crushed in some machinery and needing the ring cut off at the hospital anyway….or something).
    my mum rarely wears hers either because she takes it off to cook and do the gardening, etc.

    so i really wouldn’t care if a future husband didn’t want a ring.

    and here’s a tip: i have heard that if you get a titanium ring and you have the misfortune of needing it cut off in the emergency department of the local hospital you are in bad luck – they can’t be cut off.

  • Kristy

    I am getting married in April and my fiance doesn’t want to wear a ring. He decided to tell me this as we picking out the damn thing! I was very offended and left the store without saying anything to him! I believe the rings are there to show everyone that he is commited. They wouldn’t be in the vows if they weren’t supposed to mean anything. I don’t know what I am going to do. I feel so angry and hurt.

  • Lisa

    I was (and to an extent, still am) hurt that my fiancee won’t wear a ring. But, I understand — ladies, do any of you have guys that have hands with the finger spread shaped like an upward v? I put my ring on his hand and got a good look at how it lay on his finger, and it totally looked uncomfortable. Half the ring was on his finger and the other half was halfway down his finger simply because his fingers are attached to his hand at an angle. I’m going to see if I can make a personalized ring for him but it STINKS!!

  • Maggie

    If your husband-to-be has decided he won’t wear a ring, than why shouldn’t the bride have the freedom to also follow this thinking and not wear one either? Just the idea of this will at least allow your man see things from a different perspective, if he cares to.

  • krystal

    Befor I got married last year I told my husband I wanted tattooed rings he said it sounds good. My husband is a mechanic who will not wear a ring. He now won’t get the tattoo so I don’t wear one because he won’t. It seems to work for us. I was kinda upset at first but now I just enjoy getting hit on all the time.
    I know that’s wrong BUT it makes me feel pretty.
    He knows I love him and it dose not bother him that guys always hit on me.

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