Wedding Favours: The Debate Rages

By admin on November 7th, 2006 7 comments

Ever since we set the date for our wedding, a debate has raged in my family – a debate which, I’m sad to say, shows no sign of being resolved any time soon. It concerns favours: what to have, and, indeed, whether to have them at all.

In the red corner: my mum, who is taking the old skool approach of "it’s a wedding, and people will expect to be given a favour". In the blue corner: me, with the opinion that it’s all a bit of a waste of money, really, and we’d be better off spending that money on something the guests would really appreciate. (Alcohol springs to mind.)

I think perhaps my problem is that I’ve been to too many weddings where, at the end of the night, the tables have still been strewn with unappreciated fripperies to feel in any way enthusiatic about bestowing such things on my own guests. And, being the budget bride that I am, there’s also the part of me that thinks that it’s a lot of money to spend on something so insignificant. Bah, humbug. (Or rather, "bah, sugared-almonds-in-a-net-bag", rather).

If we do decide to have favours (and something tells me we probably will), my preference is for something edible or drinkable. At least that way those who don’t like the food or drink provided will be able to pass it on to someone else who does, and if there are favours left at the end of the night I’m sure the family will be more than happy to take them off our hands. (Or, you know, I could eat them myself.)

I also quite liked the idea of charity pins. Terry (my fiance) had a kidney transplant last year, so I had thought it might be nice to have Kidney Foundation pins as favours – an idea which Terry nixed instantly, as he doesn’t want to force a charity upon anyone, or have people constantly asking about his operation on our wedding day.

He, meanwhile, favours (no pun intended) using lottery tickets as favours – as does my mum. I’m not so sure: while I think it would be lovely if one of the guests won, the likelihood is that no one will win, which makes lottery tickets seem like an even bigger waste of money than food or drink. And so it goes on, round and round in circles, with no end in sight. We have just under five months left, so there’s still time to choose: and given the current rate of progress, it may well take the full five months.

Are you having favours at your wedding? What are you having?

(The favour box in the picture comes from DIY Favour Boxes.)

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Category: Debates, Keepsakes & Favours, Wedding Planning

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bridey

Definitely not having favours! I think they are an appalling waste of money. Weddings are expensive enough without frittering away money on these things that people just end up chucking on the floor at the end of the night. However, I think the charity pins/bracelets idea is an excellent one and something I’m actually considering, at least there will be some benefit then.
Nina Armstrong

We are-but only because I found some adorable chocolates in the shape of fairy-tale frogs that fits in with a running joke my FI and I have.
Katrina

We did a ‘charity’ favor. Almost a little tongue-in-cheek to be honest… Our wedding was a little over a month after the whole Hurricane Katrina thing, which happens to be my first name. I knew I would be still be getting comments/jokes on it, especially from out of town guests that hadn’t had the opportunity to comment earlier.
So we set out little placards stating that “In lieu of favors, we are making a donation to the red cross to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina.”

In the rush of getting everything ready for the big day, we didn’t have the chance to make the donation before the actual wedding. So we made it the week after. And thanks to our generous guests, we were able to double the amount we were originally going to donate.
With all of the big costs of a wedding, it was actually a relief to be able to pay for the favor donation AFTER the wedding.
http://foreveramber.typepad.com Amber

That’s pretty much my feelings on the matter too, Bridey – although Katrina, I love the sound of yours! Still very tempted by the charity route…
Bridey

You know you shouldn’t feel like you are forcing a charity on people. If you think you are isn’t it better than forcing sugared almonds in an organza bag?!:) As for people asking him about the op well they’re gonna do that anyway I reckon. At any wedding you get the same questions from people all day long and you’re best to have your stock answer ready e.g. “So, where are you going on honeymoon?”
Stock Answer: “First we fly to X for a week and then onto Y for a fabulous beach break. I can’t wait.” Repeat 80 times
Caroline

To be honest I am undecided. I think that I can’t be bothered – but having looked into the history of why they are given (something about weddings being seen as lucky occasions and the B&G spreading the good luck via favours that are supposed to represent the five wedding wishes?? something about Fertility, health, wealth, happiness and longevity.) I am now thinking I should do something.
It shouldn’t be a bit issue though – but maybe if you put a note in with the favours and explained a bit about the history/significance guests might take them a bit more seriously – doubtful I know but worth a try.)
Fi

We reckon we’ll probably go for the traditional whisky minuature for the male guests, but I am trying to think of something equivalent for the ladies, as I always feel cheated when OH gets booze and I get a chocolate!!!