Because I’m not having any adult bridesmaids at my wedding, I seem to have missed out on a lot of the angst that can sometimes come with them. As I work my way around my little cyber world of wedding blogs and websites, though, I’ve almost lost count of the number of arguments between brides and bridesmaids, or complaints from one about the other that I’ve heard about. Thank goodness my bridesmaid is only seven years old!
Most of the arguments seem to stem from an initial misunderstanding about what the role of bridesmaid – and particularly chief bridesmaid – should entail. While some bridesmaids are expected to do little more than show up on the day and wear a pretty dress (like this one by Jim Hjelm), others seem to be more or less running the show, doing everything from arranging the hen-night to ferrying guests between the Church and reception. It’s when bide and bridesmaid’s opinions differ on just what the bridesmaid should be doing that the arguments erupt.
I’ve only been a bridesmaid once, when I was very young, so I have to confess that I’ve always laboured under the illusion that it was more or less an "organise the hen night, help the bride get ready and wear a killer dress" kind of arrangement. A lot of my fellow-brides, though, have a different ideas, and some expect their chief bridesmaid to be heavily involved with the planning of the wedding, even taking time off work to go dress hunting and help the bride with various arrangements.
Now, we’ve already discussed the issue of who should pay for the bridesmaid’s dress, but I’m wondering what you think about the rest of it? How involved do you expect your chief bridesmaid to be in your wedding planning?