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Wedded Bliss – Elisa spills the secrets after a decade of marriage

By Elisa Smith on March 2nd, 2007 2 comments

Elisa_2Freelance writer Elisa Smith reflects on 12 years of marriage and shares her tips on matrimonial bliss….

No-one has ever asked me how I’ve made it through 10 years of marriage. Until now. I’ve been trying to think of some witty things to say to trivialise the whole experience and make it look like it’s not a big deal, but to be honest it is! Marriage is a huge deal and for me the key is simple…make sure you like the man you marry.

When I met Matt I didn’t hear church bells ringing in my ears and I certainly didn’t visualise how our kids would look. I was only 17 at the time and the first thing to cross my mind was ‘Phwoar! He’s a bit of alright!’

But as the years have passed it’s become obvious we were made for each other, and before you reach for your sick bags let me explain. I simply mean we want to spend time in each other’s company. I thought all couples who make the big decision to get hitched felt that way, but apparently not! Shock, horror, probe!

Take good friends of mine… they barely spend any quality time together. The husband is a self employed IT specialist and works from home and when he’s not on his computer he’s watching or playing sports. His wife has to bribe him if she wants to go on holiday and when they are away all he dreams about is being back at home with the real love of his life – his hard drive!

Wasn’t football invented so that men had a legitimate excuse to leave the wife and kids at home for a couple of hours every Saturday afternoon? And if that doesn’t provide him with enough time away from his family at the weekend there’s the game of golf on a Sunday morning with the lads.

Sure, there is a need for everybody to have some ’me’ time and even I’m not adverse to that, but when I’m planning my weekend or a trip away, Matt’s the one I’m arranging it with and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. I couldn’t imagine being married to someone who didn’t share the same interests as me.

We also communicate very well and yes, we often do finish each other’s sentences! We talk a lot, about all sort of things from what happened during our day to what’s happening in the world. We text each other when Matt’s at work and we talk on the phone at least once a day. There’s always something to say and when there’s not it’s not awkward, just a comfortable silence.

I love my husband, and I like him too. It may be a cliché but he is my best friend, and always will be.

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  • Oh that’s lovely and I know a lot of women, if they were honest would say their husband is a long way from being their best friend.

  • Lili

    kudos, elisa!
    yours is the type of marriage I hope mine will be–

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