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His and hers surnames – the debate continues

By admin on May 14th, 2007 0 comments yet. Be the First

mrandmrswho.JPGA new survey by Debenhams Wedding Gift Service is taking another look at the sticky territory of which surname to use once the couple are married. Apparently a third of women plan to keep their own name with 7% refusing to take their husband’s name. 45% say they don’t want to lose their family name whilst 41% of women just prefer their own.

However, 51% of men said they would be extremely offended if their new wife didn’t want their name with a third saying they would ‘demand’ a name change with 70% insisting on future offspring bearing the male surname.

One respondent and her husband got round this by deciding any daughters they have will have her surname while sons will take her husband’s family name. (I’m sure this is traditional in some countries anyway).

Further stats include:

17% of females who have kept their maiden name said it caused friction with the new in-laws – with more than half of those saying it was the mother-in-law who was most irritated by it. (Maybe because they didn’t get a choice back in the day?)

Half of the 3,000 Brits polled think professional reasons are valid for keeping a maiden name.

37% say refusing to take your husband’s name is fine if your Christian/first name sounds strange along side it.

One in ten women said they wouldn’t take their husband’s name if his family had a bad reputation and his name had notorious connections.

A spokesman for Debenhams Wedding Gift Service said: ”There has been a shift in recent years with the number of females choosing to keep their maiden name.

”We have seen a rise in the number of women keeping their surnames name when they come in to choose their wedding gifts, most grooms to-be are fine with it but we have seen a few heated moments when the subject has reared it’s head when registering their wedding list.

”It can be awkward for a professional woman to change her name. Women are getting married at an older age and changing the name you have used all your life is a major transition.

After personally speaking to several women about the issue, there has been a number of other reasons cited for a desire to keep your own name. ‘It’s my identity’ said one woman. ‘It’s who I am. If I suddenly changed my name, I’d have to start all over again professionally.’

Another woman responded, ‘He’s been married before, I refuse to be The Second Mrs X. It sounds awful.’ Similarly, another woman I spoke to said, ‘I can’t stand my mother-in-law. The idea of being mixed up with her makes me want to puke.’

Related: Will your change your surname after the wedding? I Name change kit I More debates

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