Keris Stainton‘s weekly column on married life…
The very first thing that attracted me to David was his sense of humour. He was incredibly shy in person, but he used to write a football fanzine that was so funny and clever I started to find him attractive even before the alcohol kicked in.
As it turned out he was just as funny in person as he was in print, with a stock of gags and one-liners that became even funnier with repetition. But as we got to know each other better and started introducing each other to our favourite films and TV shows (as you do), I couldn’t help but notice that a lot of David’s jokes weren’t David’s jokes at all.
Paul Calf here, Spinal Tap there, even – horrifically – Sid the Sexist, had all been plundered for my husband’s repertoire.
Even now, even after 12 years together, we can be watching a film, say, Gregory’s Girl, and a character will say something like, “Hours I spend, making you lovely, lovely food!”* and I’ll turn to David to see him looking sheepish. Then again, since he always says it in a Scottish accent, I should’ve known it wasn’t original.
I have told him that, like Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, I should be able to divorce him on the basis of fraud, but it doesn’t really bother me since he definitely is funny in his own right. For example, once, in a restaurant, he told me he planned to order tortillas by pulling his ears taut…
Maybe you had to be there.
*He really does make me lovely, lovely food. More about that next week.