Keris Stainton‘s weekly column on married life…
What is romance? Flowers? Candles? Dinners for two? Diamonds?
Er. Well, if that’s the case then David’s never been romantic. There were candles in the very beginning (but they left wax up the wall, which we had to scrape off with a knife and they left an oily stain). There are sometimes flowers (but if I want flowers, I buy them for myself). There are dinners out, but we spend most of the time talking about our son. There have never been diamonds (my engagement ring cost £33) but that’s never bothered me one jot.
How about this from David: “After the film’s finished, let’s go upstairs and you can shave my neck.” No?
Okay then, but what about me waking up from my post-birth stupor and seeing David gazing at our little baby and whispering, “He’s so beautiful” with tears in his eyes. What about the surprise weekend away he booked for us? Yes, the expense took us overdrawn and resulted in £78 in bank charges which could have been avoided had he just asked me if I’d been paid, but still. A surprise weekend away is nice.
Actually, that reminds me of another surprise weekend a couple of years ago. “Let’s go to Barcelona,” he said. “Just the two of us,” he said. “It’ll be romantic,” he said. And then on the tarmac just before boarding, he finally admitted that he had tickets to see his hero Todd Rundgren in concert and that, not romance, had been the point of the trip.
But who cares about the motivation behind these gestures (seriously, you can’t care; you just have to let it go)? We had a lovely time in Barcelona. It was romantic. And, though I’m not particularly a Rundgren fan, the concert was one of the most fabulous evenings of my life.
As I’m sure you know by now, the romance in a marriage doesn’t come with flowers and diamonds and chocolates. It comes from, “Why don’t you go and have a bath? I’ll make Harry’s tea.” “I’ve taped Location, Location, Location for you.” and “Look at our beautiful son.”
I didn’t need diamonds 11 years ago and I don’t need them today. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a neck to shave.
Keris co-edits Shiny Media’s fabulous women’s fiction blog, Trashionista and contributes to TV Scoop, The Bag Lady and Dollymix. She’s not above dreaming about old-fashioned romance … with George Clooney.