Keris Stainton‘s weekly column on married life…
David and I had been married for eight years when our son, Harry, was born. Before then, we hadn’t been settled enough – or mature enough – to even consider having a child. Eventually, because I wasn’t getting any younger, really, I started to think about it. But whenever I mentioned it to David, he would come up with something we needed before becoming parents: our own home, a better car, more money… But I knew that if we waited until we were “ready” for a child, we’d never have one.
I can’t remember how or why, but eventually we agreed to start “trying”. Well, David agreed. I was up for it, but he was still frightened to death and I think he only agreed because he couldn’t really imagine it happening. But it did, and fairly soon – I think we’d been trying for about three months. I remember doing the test. I took it to the bathroom and David was in the bedroom. When I told him it was positive, we both laughed uncontrollably. It just seemed such an improbable idea – us, parents!
Once Harry was born everything changed. Thanks to an infection, I spent the afternoon following Harry’s birth unconscious and so David gave him his first feed and did a bunch of bonding. Every now and then I’d come round to see David peering into the cot, tears in his eyes, whispering, “He’s so beautiful.” Pttht, I’d think. He’d better be, after what I’ve just been through. (He is.)
Since that day I’ve been second fiddle. When I was pregnant, a colleague warned David that his nose would totally be pushed out once the baby was born. Instead it was mine. David once came home from work and, in his eagerness to get to his son, actually patted me on the head on his way past. I’ve never felt more desirable.
I do love that David is so in love with his son (and I admit that I quite like the fact that no matter how besotted Daddy is, I’ll always be top in Harry’s eyes – ha!). He’s an amazing dad and far better than I ever imagined.
Actually, he’d like another child, but I’m not ready. Maybe when we’ve got a bigger house, a better car, more money…