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Smug Married: towels (really)

By admin on November 15th, 2007 2 comments

me.jpgKeris Stainton‘s weekly column on married life…

Towels. I’d considered many issues before saying “I do”, but bits of fabric you dry yourself with wasn’t one of them.

But the problems began early since, despite having, yes, more than one wedding list, we still received approximately twelve towel bails. But an abundance of towelage isn’t the issue.

This subject occurred to me this morning in the shower when I noticed there were no towels in the bathroom. I shouted David and he brought me one, saying to our son, “Mummy never remembers to check that there’s a towel before she gets in the shower, does she?” (I’ll have to write another column about the talking-through-the-kid issue.)


So when I get in the shower and there’s no towel it’s my fault for not checking. But when David gets in the shower and there’s no towel? My fault for using all the towels. And by all the towels, I mean two towels. No, we’ve got more than two towels (none of the wedding towel bails remain, incidentally), but I use one towel for my hair and another for my body. This is, according to David, the height of profligacy. Why can’t I just use one towel for both?

Then there is the small matter of where to put used towels. I favour hanging them over the landing banister where they dry (albeit slowly) but are also in reach of the bathroom. David prefers the bedroom radiator, which means I have to trot, naked and wet (that should turn up some interesting google searches – they’ll be so disappointed) across the landing and through the bedroom to reach them.

A heated towel rail, you ask? We haven’t even got a radiator in the bathroom. It’s a Victorian house and the bathroom was carved out of a bedroom. Frankly, we’re lucky to have an indoor loo.

The final towel issue is one of towels needing to be washed. My dad once claimed with customary brilliance that towels should never need to be washed because you are clean when you use them. While this is true, it’s impractical (and unhygienic) and so sometimes the towel has to go in the washing basket. When David decides (I have no idea how he makes this decision) that a towel needs to be washed, he puts it in the basket straight away, i.e. soaking wet.

As you know, I’m no housewife, so often the washing basket remains untouched for days (lots of days) at a time. Do you know what a wet towel in a washing basket smells like after eight days? I do.

Keris edits Shiny Media’s fabulous women’s fiction blog, Trashionista and contributes to TV Scoop. Don’t get her started on tea towels.

  • emmao414

    Now although I’m not married yet, we have already reached the ‘towel’ thing. I never ever look if there are towels before i get in the bath. never. Its just one of my wee quirks 😉 So then I end up lying in the bath screaming for J or my son to get me a towel, which are normally in the tumble dryer, or, well, I just dont know where they get to! But he never hears me, so then I get out of the bath, naked wet and cross (Hi googlers), and shout at him for not hearing me!!

    And as for washing towels, well, my son has a nasty habit of only wiping his runny nose on a towel, rather than a tissue, so they are never out of the wash in ours lol!!

  • LOL, Emma! Glad it’s not just me. 🙂

    Incidentally, our son tends to wipe his nose only on the arms of the sofa… delightful.




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