Keris Stainton‘s weekly column on married life…
There’s a scene in my favourite film, When Harry Met Sally, in which Harry and Sally both phone their best friends, Marie and Jess, who are now a couple, to tell them that they (Harry and Sally – keep up) have slept together. After putting down the phones, Marie turns to Jess (who’s a man, by the way) and says, “Tell me I’ll never have to be out there again.” And Jess replies, “You’ll never have to be out there again.”
Last weekend I went on the hen night of one of my oldest friends and, before we went out, she said, “It’s such a relief that I don’t have to worry about pulling tonight. Because I’m getting married.”
Now I’m totally on board with both of these views. I don’t want to be out there. I like to go out to dance, have a drink, enjoy myself, without all the, “Is he looking at me? Why isn’t *he* looking at me?” farrago, but at the same time…
See I got married young. I was 23. David was my first boyfriend. I hardly ever went out on the pull before I met him and whenever I did I found it excruciating, but part of me does wish I’d sown some oats. Part of me misses that whole embarrassing, “Is he looking at me?” thing (even though, I know, deep down inside, that he wouldn’t be looking at me at all and the evening would no doubt end in humiliation and, most likely, tears).
But still… I miss the butterflies in the tummy. I miss the first kiss. I miss wondering when he’s going to call. I miss all the flirting and the excitement of dating. Dating!
Except in reality, I hated all that. The butterflies just made me want to throw up. The first kiss was generally a nose-bumping, smoky-breathed embarrassment-fest. I so don’t miss wondering *if* he’s going to call. What I miss is fictional. It’s film-love. And what I have, while not so exciting, is actually much, much better.
Even though David and I are very happy (despite the impression I probably give in these columns), I do regret marrying so young and only ever sowing the one oat.
But I’m still really glad I’ll never have to be out there again.