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Smug Married: Nice?

By admin on December 6th, 2007 0 comments yet. Be the First

me.jpgKeris Stainton‘s weekly column on married life…

I am not a high maintenance woman. I can shower in ten minutes, do my make-up in two, get dressed in between five and, say, 25 minutes, depending on how I feel about my weight (“I’ve got nothing to wear! Nothing! I can’t go!”).

Once I am dressed and ready to go, all I want is a kind word from my husband. A “you look good” is good. A “you look great” would be better. A “you look gorgeous/sexy/fantastic” would be amazing, but I have to accept it’s never going to happen. And, no, I don’t accept that I never do look gorgeous/sexy/fantastic because a) sometimes I think I do and b) even if I don’t, couldn’t he just say I do? Well apparently not.

A few months ago I’d bought myself a new outfit. One of those short-ish, Jane Austen bodicey, jersey dress thingies along with patterned tights (to wear with boots). I put the outfit on – ready to go out on the town – and said to David, “How do I look?”

David: Are they boots?
Me: Yeah.
David: …
Me: So does it look alright?
David: Yeah, apart from your blotchy face.
Me: Why’s my face blotchy?
Me: (running to the mirror and realising it’ll just be from the hot shower I’ve just had) It’s because of the shower. So …?
David (still looking at my face): You look nice.
Me: Not my face!
David: …
Me: (gesturing at outfit) Does it look awful?
David: …
Me (walking over to the mirror): Is it too short?
David: A bit of your bra’s sticking out.
Me: I know. It’s supposed to be.
David (losing patience): You look nice!
Me: Nice. Great.
David: God! (storms off)

Almost eleven years of marriage. How can he not know that “nice” is never the right answer?

Keris edits Shiny Media’s fabulous women’s fiction blog, Trashionista and contributes to TV Scoop. She’s still not sure about that particular outfit.

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