Keris Stainton‘s weekly column on married life…
As part of my new year decluttering efforts, I’ve been reading through some of my old diaries. They were mostly deadly dull, but there was one entry I found interesting.
Me and David had been married just over two years and I’d gone alone to stay with some friends. David was joining me the following day. I wrote this big thing about how I missed him and I was glad that I missed him because it meant I was still in love with him and I’d been worried that I wouldn’t miss him as much as I’d missed him when we were first together and if that had been the case that would have been troubling, but I did miss him and so needn’t have worried. Told you it was boring.
Anyway, the reason it intrigued me was that David’s been away for two nights this week and I’ve really missed him. Really missed him. But I hadn’t expected to. I’d mostly thought, yay! two nights to myself, room in the bed, control of the remote, being able to watch Friends without David saying, “It’s the Friends channel! All Friends, all the time!” like he does Every Single Day.
Whenever David goes away, he jokes that the only thing I’ll miss is his cooking, but this time he actually left me a tupperware of curry and a note telling me to “eat all the greens in the fridge” – yep, I’ve married my mother. So while I didn’t get a chance to miss his cooking, I didn’t really miss anything specific either. It’s just been odd not having him around. I’ve missed having someone to talk to. In the evening, once our son’s in bed, I’ve been sitting in a silent house, talking to myself. I can see why people get dogs.
My point is really that, just as I did when we’d only been married a couple of years, I found it comforting that I still miss him after almost thirteen years. Of course, he’s back tonight and no doubt within five minutes of him being home, when he’s asking why I didn’t eat the greens and saying, “It’s the Friends channel! All Friends–” I’ll be gritting my teeth and wondering when he’s next going away, but I suppose that’s married life.