The second monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying the father of her children this August…
Telling people about our impending nuptials (I love that word) has brought some surprising responses. Thankfully, most people have gone for the straightforward Congratulations!, but some have asked, Why, after all this time? (We have been together for ten years and have three children.)
One person even said, “Oh, you’re not, are you?” when we broke the news. “What do you want to do a thing like that for?” she asked. Hmmm… Let me see. Because we’re really happy together and want to throw a big party for our friends and family to celebrate that, thank you very much!
What complicates matters is that we moved house in the summer to a different city. So when I meet someone new and happen to mention that oh yes, I’m getting married this summer, I can see their eyes flicker to the children and know that some lightning judgements are being made. It’s either Ahh, second marriage is it? (No, first, actually). Or sometimes I just know a moral sentence is being passed. You had children BEFORE you were married? (Yes, I’ve been surprised by that one, too. Hello! It is the 21st century, everybody!) Nobody has actually asked yet if my wedding dress will be a hussy shade of scarlet, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
Still, I am starting to realise that getting married with children does add an extra dimension to the proceedings. It’s not going to be your straightforward wedding, that’s for sure.
Should we spend hundreds of pounds on tasteful, elegant invitations? No. They’re going to feature a gorgeous drawing our seven-year-old daughter did of my partner and I holding hands. (Awwww. It’s really sweet. Hearts and flowers all over the place.)
Should we have the wedding at some luxury stately home, where children should be seen and not heard? No. We’re getting married in a barn, with a playground next door so all the kids can charge about out there and play rather than having them fidget through the speeches.
As for the honeymoon… well. While I’m trying to keep the children semi-involved in the whole shebang, I did have to draw the line at my five-year-old son’s suggestion of Legoland as a good place for the honeymoon. Maybe when he gets married, I said to him. He thought that was fair enough. Not sure what my future daughter-in-law will make of it, but that’s her problem, isn’t it?!
Seven months to go and counting…
Lucy Diamond blogs at http://beinglucydiamond.blogspot.com
Her first novel, Any Way You Want Me, is published by Pan. Read last month’s column here.