Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…
A while ago there was a spate of articles about how men also suffer from hormone related mood swings. It was tagged “IMS” for Irritable Male Syndrome and, as soon as I read about it, I told David, “This is you.”
Of course, that was before I became aware of my own PMS issues. Until a few months ago, if you’d asked me if I suffered from PMS I would have said absolutely not. And yet. Every now and then I just find David so damn irritating that I could just wring his neck! Did I say every now and then? I meant every month.
Yep, I finally worked out that if I find myself thinking “What am I going to do? I never should have married him! I’m so stupid! He’s so annoying!” then I need to stop and remember that a little visitor is probably due.
Recently I was wondering if David is annoying all month and I just don’t notice it, or if he’s not really that annoying at all and the PMS just makes me think he is. And then I heard a podcast that explained that you should pay attention to the feelings that show up at PMS time because they are authentic feelings that should be acted upon. Oh dear. Of course, I have to choose to ignore that fact since I don’t really want to leave David, no matter how annoying he is (and he’s *really* annoying).
Plus he definitely suffers from IBS. For example, he will never, ever accept that he’s in a bad mood. He can be slamming around the house like Simon Cowell with a migraine, but if I so much as imply there’s something wrong, he will insist it is in fact me who is in a mood. I will then give examples of his mood, which he will counter with examples of my own until the “mood-off” reaches its peak and we’re both in a much worse mood than we were to begin with.
The odd thing is I can swing between finding him utterly endearing and desperately annoying in moments. For example, the other day he was mouthing off at someone in the car and it bugged me so much that I had to get my diary out and check for a little red flag. But maybe five minutes later, he was ranting about Ashley Cole and I had to reach over and chuck his outraged little cheeks.
Perhaps the couple who stresses together, stays together? Let’s hope so.