I’m married, and I don’t wear an engagement ring, or a wedding band. For some reason, this makes some people either terribly confused, or questionably uncomfortable. When (repeatedly) asked why I don’t wear either of these things, I simply tell people (nosy women) that I don’t have one because:
a) It’s not that important to me
b) I don’t want a ring or wedding band like everyone else
c) I’ve yet to come across a set that’s unique, my style, and worth the cash it would cost to buy it.
But for some reason, people just don’t want to believe me.
For various reasons, most people don’t believe that I could possibly really, truly not care that much about having a wedding ring – but I’m being 100% honest. I don’t have a problem with women who love the idea of engagement rings or wedding bands. I respect that the majority of married/engaged women have them. It doesn’t annoy me or bother me when I see people wearing said rings – but what DOES bother me is the insane obsession that is placed on the material aspect of a wedding or even marriage.
Take today’s article in The Telegraph called Beware The Rules Of Modern Engagement. While it starts off as a news report on Nick Cannon and Nicolas Sarkozy recycling engagement rings and wedding bands by giving their new fiancees and wives rings that they gave to their previous partners, it ends by discussing how while “some women see the engagement ring as a squandering of cash…most of us still dream of a big ring within a tiny box from Tiffany’s or Asprey’s”. Gag. Me.
Take this quote from thrice engaged Kate Gielgud:
“I have wanted an engagement ring for as long as I can remember. My first impression is of storybook princes giving storybook princesses vast sparkly rings. So I knew from a very early age that it meant being loved, desired, respected and secure… It was very important to me to have a concrete symbol of being adored and wanted.”
I understand and respect that tradition has a lot, if not everything to do with the exchanging of rings. But the sheer expense of them and the nasty Bridezilla selfishness that pours out of some women that say an expensive, diamond engagement ring is a direct reflection of how much their spouse “adores” them is what I find absolutely revolting.
For another fantastic column on engagement rings, please check out Katie Lee’s columns on her eco-friendly wedding.