The latest monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying the father of her three children next month…
Less than six weeks to go until the wedding and I feel spookily calm. Unnaturally calm. Shouldn’t I be having a meltdown at this stage or at least throwing a few diva-like strops?
I don’t want to tempt fate but I think we are almost there. I have my dress and shoes. Our daughters and nieces all look gorgeous in their bridesmaid dresses and tiaras, and our son looks soooo cute in his mini suit (although he won’t thank me for putting that online). We’ve ordered the food and booze. The photographer and DJ have been booked. The only thing I haven’t sorted out is the flowers and for some reason, I’m finding it hard to make any decisions about them. I think I have decision fatigue at this point – having to let the reception venue know how we wanted our napkins folded sent me slightly over the edge.
We’ve also done the table plan. “Oh, you wait,” friends had said beforehand, “that’s the worst bit. Nightmare!” People even offered advice about how to do it – complicated schemes involving Post-It notes and spreadsheets. I was prepared for a long old evening of wrangling and struggling – the equivalent of Human Sudoku – and opened some wine to see us through the whole business… but then, a mere ten minutes later, we’d cracked it. No problem! What was all the fuss about, anyway?
Two days later, however, a family member told me that Ooh no, we really mustn’t have a certain two people on the same table as they can’t stand each other (I had put them next to each other in my ignorance) – and Table Plan Mark Two had to be drafted, which took slightly longer.
Then, yesterday, another phone call came – Oh, didn’t we tell you we’re bringing our children to your wedding? That’s all right, isn’t it?
So the Table Plan is onto its third version …and I am braced for more changes to come. I totally get the “Nightmare” comments I received earlier now. In fact, if I have to make any more changes to my precious table plan, I may well have that meltdown I mentioned previously and declare the seating arrangements a free-for-all – and there will be jam jars stuffed with brambles as floral displays… watch this space…
Lucy Diamond’s new novel, Over You, is published by Pan Macmillan on August 1st.