Bridalwave’s Wedding Guest Types #2: The Ex

Andrea Petrou writes: We all remember our first love, whether its our playground crush, or the childhood family friend we played with in the paddling pool and proposed to with a plastic car in Hamleys (er guilty), at one point, in our childish eyes, we see ourselves marrying them.

This fantasy continues to our first proper girlfriend/boyfriend where marriage and remaining together forever seems far more viable. Then comes the day when the dreaded invite pops through the door. Your first ex love, is getting married and, unless you’ve been asleep for ten years, you’re sure as hell its not to you.

While many of us may bite the bullet and accept our childhood sweetheart has moved on there are others that have still held on to that childhood dream, making very interesting guests.

Over the jump, Bridalwave looks at the second type of guest in this series, the ex
Related: Bridalwave’s wedding guest types #1: “we’re next!”

Did you meet your partner at a wedding?

Along with the office party and now the Internet, weddings are said to be a breeding ground for potential partners; a social space where singletons stick out like sore thumbs. That last bit’s certainly true, as anyone who’s ever tried to book a room for one in the guests’ hotel will gladly tell you. But is this really a good way to find romance?

I attended a fair few weddings during my single years, and have to say that none of them produced the smallest glimmer of romance for me. I do recall having a few of those rather patronising ‘I’ll marry you if we’re both still single at 40′ conversations with drunk, platonic friends, but I was mostly too busy having fun.

What’s been your experience of weddings as pick-up-joints?

Smug Married: Sharing time

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

One of my favourite episodes of Friends (The One With the Chickenpox) features this exchange:

MONICA: You know what. Tomorrow I’m gonna do your clocks.
RICHARD: You’re gonna do what to my clocks.
MONICA: I’m gonna set them to my time.
RICHARD: Well, I’m confused. I thought we shared time.

Ha! Me and David certainly don’t share time. David does things to his own schedule, totally ignoring anyone else.

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Smug Married: Do you deliver?

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I’m now 30 weeks pregnant (with our second child) and so my thoughts are turning to *shudder* the birth. (That’s the problem with pregnancy – towards the end, people say “Not long now!” as if that’s a good thing, forgetting the enormous and painful hurdle you have to get over before hitting the good stuff.)

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Smug Married: Turning into your mother

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I’m sure you’ve heard that thing about if you want to know what your wife will be like then look at her mother. Something like that. Well, I’m kind of like my mother in superficial ways, but that’s not the issue. My husband, David, however seems, quite disturbingly, to be turning into his mother.

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Smug Married: Whisper it

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I read recently about a new relationship therapy that, apparently, Madonna and Guy Ritchie are trying. Did you read it? It’s called “whisper therapy” and “It’s not about saying I love you, it’s about saying specific things, reminding them what they find attractive about each other. Speaking them out loud reinforces those feelings.”

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Smug married: Talk is cheap

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I’ve started reading a book called Wifework: What marriage really means for women by Susan Maushart. I bought it years ago, but have never felt the urge to read it, either because I was happy with my husband and didn’t want to get all riled up by reading about why I shouldn’t be or because he was driving me mad and I didn’t want it to tip me over the edge.

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Isn’t being married great?! Are you about to enter the world of the smug marrieds?

Getting married was all about the party for me, but little did I know that I was joining a secret underground world of sanctioned smugness…

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Lucy Diamond Is Getting Married… this month!

The second monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying her long-term partner this month…

I’m getting married this month! I am really excited about it. The date has been in the diary for so long, I can hardly believe that it’s actually going to happen, now. And soon!

It feels like everything is very hectic, all of a sudden. Not just because of the wedding. The school holidays have arrived which means all three children are at home demanding entertainment; my new novel Over You has just been published which has meant arranging a book signing and other attempts to drum up publicity; and I’ve had deadlines galore on the writing front, too. But still… we were organised and on-track for the Big Day. Weren’t we?

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Smug Married: Sorry?

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

My 4-year-old son, Harry, has recently developed a new habit. He does something naughty and as soon as I start to tell him off says, “I want a cuddle”, cuddles me, saying, “I’m sorry,” and then … immediately does the naughty thing again.

This doesn’t actually surprise me all that much since it’s almost exactly how his father (my husband) thinks apologies work. David does something that upsets or annoys me. He apologises (once I’ve brought it to his attention, of course). And then, some time later, he does the same thing again.

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