Smug Married: Cry baby

My pic for Bridalwave

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I’m not sure when I first realised David was a crier. Now, I don’t mean he cries all the time or that he’ll sit sobbing when Chandler proposes to Monica (like I do: every single time it’s on), but our son does something cute or precocious and he fills up in seconds.

David’s always been worse than me for emotional displays around Harry. As I’ve written before, the day Harry was born, I was unconscious for most of the afternoon and only surfaced every couple of hours to see David, staring into the cot and snivelling.

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Can you get married and still be a feminist?

Our foremothers have won amazing battles on our behalf and we’ve continued to fight for equality in almost every aspect of our lives, so is it unfeminist to have a traditional wedding? That’s the question Gary Nunn at The Guardian’s Comment is Free poses.

Gunn says, “In 2008, the 90th anniversary of women’s suffrage, it’s breathtaking that any couple invite people to witness this display of patriarchal symbolism. It’s more archaic than the penny-farthing.” Nunn cites the following as examples of how women haven’t found equality in weddings: there’s the ‘giving away’ by a man to another man, taking a man’s name and “…man expecting to erase a woman’s surname and impose his own is just the tip of a glass shard. When a man knows he can have a woman “given away” to him, have all the ceremony’s speeches made by men whilst women remain silent, and have his bride wear white to signify virginity and purity.”

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Lucy Diamond is getting married

The latest monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying the father of her three children next month…

Less than six weeks to go until the wedding and I feel spookily calm. Unnaturally calm. Shouldn’t I be having a meltdown at this stage or at least throwing a few diva-like strops?

I don’t want to tempt fate but I think we are almost there. I have my dress and shoes. Our daughters and nieces all look gorgeous in their bridesmaid dresses and tiaras, and our son looks soooo cute in his mini suit (although he won’t thank me for putting that online). We’ve ordered the food and booze. The photographer and DJ have been booked. The only thing I haven’t sorted out is the flowers and for some reason, I’m finding it hard to make any decisions about them. I think I have decision fatigue at this point – having to let the reception venue know how we wanted our napkins folded sent me slightly over the edge.

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Why do people get married?

Our sister site, Dollymix, is asking the above question, after reading an article suggesting that the reason may be peer pressure!

What do you think? Did you feel pressurised to get married, whether by friends or family? Head over there and leave a comment (their comments are working).

Related: Never say ‘Never the bride’ | Shauna Reid’s four weddings | Oprah’s “Twenty questions to ask before getting married”

Smug Married: Doin’ it

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

In my last column, I insinuated that something was up (in excusing the fact that my husband was doing housework, while I was lazing on the sofa). Well, it was because we’re expecting another baby.

Which makes me think about sex. Not because that’s how the baby was indeed made, but because, after our son (now 4) was born (and, if I’m honest, even before he was born), our sex life, well, fizzled out.

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Snide comments on Madonna’s ‘rare’ display of her wedding ring

Alexandra at Dollymix writes… The London Metro‘s Guilty Pleasures section can provide some entertainment on the long and meandering route to work, but very occasionally the nature of its reporting does leave a bit of a bitter taste in the mouth.

This morning, it was all about Madonna’s alleged marriage woes. Her publicists have been forced to make a public statement that she ‘rarely’ wears her wedding ring anyway, in response to reports that the lack of bling means the marriage is on the rocks. It’s a pretty ridiculous thing to have to talk about anyway, but Metro’s response of “Oh, well, that’s alright then” really got up my nose.

[Ed's note - Before you read the rest of the article here, I'm just going to dip in and add I'm very on/off about wearing rings as I have carpal tunnel and sometimes it just isn't comfortable!]

Smug Married: Shared parenting

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

Warning: this column contains scenes of potty training peril

Ah, parenting. Or, to be more specific, shared parenting. Is it just us or do all parents think that they are each doing more than their fair share? That they are each hard done by while the other gets off lightly?

I’ll give an example, knowing that I am going to come out of it badly, but there are extenuating circumstances that I can’t divulge yet, you’ll just have to trust me, okay?

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Lucy Diamond Is Getting Married

The second monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying her long-time partner this August…

Less than three months to go before the big day and I can finally say, hand on heart, that it’s all coming together. Two big ones have been ticked off the list in the last week – the invitations and the dress – which feels like major progress to me!

I’m especially pleased to have bought my dress, as I was starting to get a little panicked about it. As a mum, I tend not to spend very much on my clothes – there always seems to be 900 other things to shell out for – so the thought of coughing up hundreds of pounds for one single dress, for one single day, for me made me squirm.

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Smug Married: D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

No, we’re not getting divorced, but I wanted to write about *thinking* about it. There was an article by Ellen Tien in May’s Oprah magazine, in which she claimed that she, and her friends, constantly fantasise about getting divorced:

“It’s the scarlet concept, the closely held contemplating of nearly every woman I know who has children who have been out of diapers for at least two years and a husband who won’t be in them for another 30.”

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Smug Married: Friends

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

One day earlier this week, I caught an episode of Loose Women. They were talking about whether men and women can be friends or whether sex always gets in the way. Since this is also the theme of my favourite film, When Harry Met Sally, I thought I’d address it here.

Of course, this also means I need to include the (slightly abridged) transcript of one of my favourite scenes:

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

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