Columns/ Opinion

Columns/ Opinion, Dating & Relationships, Debates

Should parents of the wedding couple meet before or after the engagement?

By Alex Roumbas on May 16th, 2008
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meet_the_fockers_front.jpgI know this seems like a strange subject to revisit during the wedding planning, but I’ve got to assume that some people are reading Bridalwave who aren’t quite engaged yet – I know I did. The other night we had a first for our relationship: our parents met each other, around a month after the big question.

Everyone I speak to has a different reaction to the fact that our parents did not meet until after we were engaged.

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Books/ DVDs/ Online/ TV, Columns/ Opinion, Wedding Etiquette, Wedding Planning

How to deal with pushy sales people and The Apprentice wedding show

By admin on May 15th, 2008
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300apprentice.jpgKeris mentioned The Apprentice teams were due to take on The National Wedding Show in this week’s show. Did you watch it last night? The teams chose to try and sell high end wedding dresses (I spotted this Ian Stuart gown) and wedding cakes versus bridal/bridesmaid blingy tracksuits and the ilk. Both made around £5000 in sales (and not a single cake sold!)

One thing that really bothered me about the show was the absolute pushiness of the teams. One team member was on the verge of shouting at one woman because she wouldn’t commit to a sale. Another young man muttered how the women was a ‘dumb-dumb’ because she didn’t want the cakes he was trying to flog. She just didn’t want them, simple. The judges mentioned the feedback was that people felt ‘bludgeoned’. It was rude, desperate tactics. Yes, I realise it was their job to try and sell their wares but it was how they went about it that was quite appalling and that made me wonder how many of our readers have felt pressured into buying something for their wedding that they don’t really want?

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Columns/ Opinion, Gowns, Green/ Organic/ Eco Weddings

My Eco-friendly Wedding. Part 4: The Dress (or at least *a* dress)

By admin on May 15th, 2008
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cloud cuckooland.jpgThe Dress… the story so far.

The dress! Oh, the dress! Yes, the dress has been the bane of my life for the past few months, preventing me from looking forward to the wedding at all, and causing Al no little offence when I continually talk about wanting to cancel the whole thing and continue living my life in unwedded joy.

It would probably have helped if I’d even been into a bridal shop to try some dresses on. But thanks to my need to get something eco-friendly, I was aware that there was no point in trying on dresses I knew I couldn’t buy. But, of course, then I had no idea what would suit me.

Eventually, it was this very site that came to my aid.

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Columns/ Opinion

Reality Check: the cost of an engagement ring does not equal your worth

By admin on May 14th, 2008
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Unnecessary Engagement BlingI’m married, and I don’t wear an engagement ring, or a wedding band. For some reason, this makes some people either terribly confused, or questionably uncomfortable. When (repeatedly) asked why I don’t wear either of these things, I simply tell people (nosy women) that I don’t have one because:

a) It’s not that important to me
b) I don’t want a ring or wedding band like everyone else
c) I’ve yet to come across a set that’s unique, my style, and worth the cash it would cost to buy it.

But for some reason, people just don’t want to believe me.

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Columns/ Opinion

Smug Married: Nag, nag, nag

By admin on May 8th, 2008
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me.jpgKeris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I’ve been writing this column for a while now and I assume you’ve also been reading it (haven’t you?), so I thought it was time for a test to see if you’ve been paying attention.

So I’m going to list some questions and I’d like you to guess which of them can be categorised as “nagging”. Ready? Good.

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Columns/ Opinion

Smug Married: Match your Man

By admin on April 24th, 2008
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me.jpgKeris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about Lori Gottlieb’s article Marry Him! in which she suggests that single women in their thirties holding out for Mr Perfect would be better off settling for Mr Good Enough. Gottlieb writes:

When we’re holding out for deep romantic love, we have the fantasy that this level of passionate intensity will make us happier. But marrying Mr. Good Enough might be an equally viable option, especially if you’re looking for a stable, reliable life companion.

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Bridesmaids & Attendants, Columns/ Opinion, Gowns

GUEST BLOG: Whitney Barnes

By admin on April 17th, 2008
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Fabric2.jpgWhen I read on Whitney Barnes’ Darling Dexter blog that she was making not only her own wedding gown, but her bridesmaids’ dresses too, I had to find out more…

When I tell people that my mother and I are making my wedding gown, I get the same reaction every time – a look of pure amazement and curiosity. But now, as we put the final touches on my $150 custom gown, I would not have had it any other way. It took two trips to bridal salons before I was heartbroken at the overwhelming expense of the designer gowns I had so longingly desired to wear on my perfect day. I had actually found the dress I loved, but was soon informed that it had been discontinued. All of this led my mother and I going on a hunt to recreate the dress of my dreams – from scratch!

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Columns/ Opinion, Groom, Wedding Planning

New Bridalwave column: Alex

By admin on April 17th, 2008
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Alex ring.JPGOur former Shiny Shiny deputy editor Alex Roumbas has taken the plunge into wedding planning but there’s just one thing bugging her… is getting married bad for men?

I got engaged just over a week ago and since then I’ve become a staunch feminist for men’s rights.

What I didn’t know is how badly the wedding industry treats grooms…

We’re getting married in December, which means we need to get our skates on. The wedding meal also needs to be entirely or at least half kosher, so we may have some issues finding suitable caterers. Whatever the reasons, we’ve plunged straight into the planning.

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Columns/ Opinion

Smug Married: For keeps’ sake

By admin on April 10th, 2008
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me.jpgKeris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

For a while now I’ve been desperately trying to clear some of the clutter out of this house. As it turns out, the clutter was just covering up more clutter which was, itself, balanced on a bedrock of even more clutter. I don’t think I’ll ever excavate it completely, but I’m having a go. Anyway, one of the things I thought I should sort out is a box file filled with cards and notes that David and I have sent each other over the years.

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Books/ DVDs/ Online/ TV, Columns/ Opinion

Forget Mr Right! Have you thought about, er, settling…?

By admin on April 10th, 2008
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gottlieb.jpgThere’s been a huge fuss about Lori Gottlieb’s article Marry Him! Written for The Atlantic Monthly, the piece suggests that single women in their thirties would be happier in the long run settling for Mr Good Enough than holding out for Mr Perfect. She says:

When we’re holding out for deep romantic love, we have the fantasy that this level of passionate intensity will make us happier. But marrying Mr. Good Enough might be an equally viable option, especially if you’re looking for a stable, reliable life companion.

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Columns/ Opinion

Would you consider Relate?

By admin on April 7th, 2008
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logo-relate.gifI’ve just been talking to a friend who recently started a course of relationship counselling with her husband. She said that, although she’s been telling her friends and family, her husband is ashamed and isn’t telling anyone.

We both agreed that identifying a problem and getting help is something to be proud of, rather than ashamed, but what do you think? Is there still a stigma attached to marriage counselling? Would you go? Have you been? And, if so, would you/did you keep it secret?

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Columns/ Opinion

GUEST BLOG: Shauna Reid’s Four Weddings

By admin on April 7th, 2008
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wedding1.jpg

Australian writer Shauna Reid was living in Edinburgh on a Working Holiday visa when she met her future husband Gareth down the pub. Eighteen months later, he proposed to her – just eight weeks before her visa was due to expire.

Gareth and I were a couple that liked to take things slow. It took six months of shy smiles and blushes to finally get together after our first meeting in the pub; and a further six months to whisper I love you. But with my visa running out we had to quickly decide how serious we were about the relationship. To be honest – that bit felt effortless and natural. It was the hasty wedding part that reduced us to a dribbling mess.

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Columns/ Opinion

Lucy Diamond Is Getting Married

By admin on April 4th, 2008
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lucydiamond.jpgOur monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying the father of her three children this August…

I had my first getting-married nightmare last week. A proper terrifying, wake-up-with-your-heart-pounding nightmare. In it, I was standing with my lovely partner, about to be married in front of all our guests. Then I looked down at myself and realised I was wearing… the most hideous blue floral maternity smock with enormous lacy Peter Pan collars. “I forgot to buy a wedding dress!” I screamed in horror.

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Columns/ Opinion

GUEST BLOG: Brigit Sapstead

By admin on April 2nd, 2008
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2008_03282007January0063.JPGBrigit’s last guest blog before the Big Day…

I have decided to become a Weather Girl! As the big day approaches, all I can think about is isobars and wind direction. How sad is that! The weather map has a huge big smiley face on Friday 4th April. Let’s hope it keeps smiling.

There’s nothing like a big event to banish flu bugs! Fiance succumbed to something horrid about a month ago and I glibly labelled it ‘man flu’. Then off I went to Turkey on a press trip, no hot water, felt terrible and started a fever! I have vowed never to shirk in my duties as caring nurse and wife! Still, planning 4/4 comes first and I smugly admit to wiping down my own brow and getting on with it!

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Columns/ Opinion, Flowers/Decoration, Green/ Organic/ Eco Weddings

Bridalwave column – My Eco-friendly Wedding. Part 3: The flowers

By admin on March 28th, 2008
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Katie gets marriedPart 3: The flowers

I’ve always felt uncomfortable about the number of flowers on sale that have been air freighted in from foreign countries, grown in large fields using pesticides, with no respect for the local people or ecosystem. And I’m not alone: just as consumers are increasingly starting to understand that food should be eaten seasonally, more people are also beginning to see flowers as a seasonal resource.

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