Smug Married: Friends

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

One day earlier this week, I caught an episode of Loose Women. They were talking about whether men and women can be friends or whether sex always gets in the way. Since this is also the theme of my favourite film, When Harry Met Sally, I thought I’d address it here.

Of course, this also means I need to include the (slightly abridged) transcript of one of my favourite scenes:

Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.

Sally: Why not?

Read the rest of this entry »

Smug Married: Nag, nag, nag

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I’ve been writing this column for a while now and I assume you’ve also been reading it (haven’t you?), so I thought it was time for a test to see if you’ve been paying attention.

So I’m going to list some questions and I’d like you to guess which of them can be categorised as “nagging”. Ready? Good.

Read the rest of this entry »

Smug Married: Match your Man

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about Lori Gottlieb’s article Marry Him! in which she suggests that single women in their thirties holding out for Mr Perfect would be better off settling for Mr Good Enough. Gottlieb writes:

When we’re holding out for deep romantic love, we have the fantasy that this level of passionate intensity will make us happier. But marrying Mr. Good Enough might be an equally viable option, especially if you’re looking for a stable, reliable life companion.

Read the rest of this entry »

Smug Married: For keeps’ sake

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

For a while now I’ve been desperately trying to clear some of the clutter out of this house. As it turns out, the clutter was just covering up more clutter which was, itself, balanced on a bedrock of even more clutter. I don’t think I’ll ever excavate it completely, but I’m having a go. Anyway, one of the things I thought I should sort out is a box file filled with cards and notes that David and I have sent each other over the years.

Read the rest of this entry »

Would you consider Relate?

I’ve just been talking to a friend who recently started a course of relationship counselling with her husband. She said that, although she’s been telling her friends and family, her husband is ashamed and isn’t telling anyone.

We both agreed that identifying a problem and getting help is something to be proud of, rather than ashamed, but what do you think? Is there still a stigma attached to marriage counselling? Would you go? Have you been? And, if so, would you/did you keep it secret?

Read the rest of this entry »

GUEST BLOG: Shauna Reid’s Four Weddings

Australian writer Shauna Reid was living in Edinburgh on a Working Holiday visa when she met her future husband Gareth down the pub. Eighteen months later, he proposed to her – just eight weeks before her visa was due to expire.

Gareth and I were a couple that liked to take things slow. It took six months of shy smiles and blushes to finally get together after our first meeting in the pub; and a further six months to whisper I love you. But with my visa running out we had to quickly decide how serious we were about the relationship. To be honest – that bit felt effortless and natural. It was the hasty wedding part that reduced us to a dribbling mess.

Read the rest of this entry »

Lucy Diamond Is Getting Married

Our monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying the father of her three children this August…

I had my first getting-married nightmare last week. A proper terrifying, wake-up-with-your-heart-pounding nightmare. In it, I was standing with my lovely partner, about to be married in front of all our guests. Then I looked down at myself and realised I was wearing… the most hideous blue floral maternity smock with enormous lacy Peter Pan collars. “I forgot to buy a wedding dress!” I screamed in horror.

Read the rest of this entry »