Lucy Diamond Is Getting Married

Our monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying the father of her three children this August…

I had my first getting-married nightmare last week. A proper terrifying, wake-up-with-your-heart-pounding nightmare. In it, I was standing with my lovely partner, about to be married in front of all our guests. Then I looked down at myself and realised I was wearing… the most hideous blue floral maternity smock with enormous lacy Peter Pan collars. “I forgot to buy a wedding dress!” I screamed in horror.

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GUEST BLOG: Brigit Sapstead

Brigit’s last guest blog before the Big Day…

I have decided to become a Weather Girl! As the big day approaches, all I can think about is isobars and wind direction. How sad is that! The weather map has a huge big smiley face on Friday 4th April. Let’s hope it keeps smiling.

There’s nothing like a big event to banish flu bugs! Fiance succumbed to something horrid about a month ago and I glibly labelled it ‘man flu’. Then off I went to Turkey on a press trip, no hot water, felt terrible and started a fever! I have vowed never to shirk in my duties as caring nurse and wife! Still, planning 4/4 comes first and I smugly admit to wiping down my own brow and getting on with it!

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Smug Married: Stress

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

A while ago there was a spate of articles about how men also suffer from hormone related mood swings. It was tagged “IMS” for Irritable Male Syndrome and, as soon as I read about it, I told David, “This is you.”

Of course, that was before I became aware of my own PMS issues. Until a few months ago, if you’d asked me if I suffered from PMS I would have said absolutely not. And yet. Every now and then I just find David so damn irritating that I could just wring his neck! Did I say every now and then? I meant every month.

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Smug Married: Ker-ching!

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

Ah the money issue. According to Dr Phil (and I’m not going to argue with Dr Phil), it’s the number one cause of divorce.

When me and David first lived together, I insisted that we keep our (paltry) finances entirely separate. This seems to have based on the fact that my male family members were always telling my female family members to get off the phone. I wanted to know that I could talk on the phone for as long as I wanted without David coming in and tapping his watch.

Eventually, I accepted that this wasn’t a great reason not to combine finances and so we did.

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Lucy Diamond Is Getting Married

The third monthly column from author Lucy Diamond, who is marrying her partner of ten years this August…

“So, how are the wedding plans going?” people keep asking.

Well… Slowly, is the answer. After a flurry of list-making last month, not a lot else has happened on the wedding front.

We’ve got plenty of time, I keep telling myself. Months! It’s only a big party when all’s said and done, isn’t it? What’s the urgency anyway? I want our wedding to be laidback and enjoyable, not a series of stressful shopping missions and planning conferences.

“Don’t worry about it,” a friend said on the phone the other week. “My sister’s getting married the month after you and she hasn’t done much either, other than sort out her theme.”

“Her theme?” I repeated, puzzled. “What do you mean, her theme?”

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GUEST BLOG: Brigit Sapstead

How many 40-something brides-to-be end up arranging most of the wedding? While Brigit Sapstead is content to sort the catering, the venue, she was delighted to hear the news that fiance had fixed the honeymoon…

“It’s just as well I love surprises! But, what on earth am I supposed to pack?”

We all know that plans change. Just as well that it’s a female’s prerogative to change their mind. So, when wedding planner Ali mentioned that she had come across a venue stylist in nearby Glastonbury, Brigit decided to change Wells Museum into an Hawaiian beach scene for the afternoon champagne reception! Themes Incorporated have an Aladdin’s cave of props and goodies to deck out a party.

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Smug Married: And baby makes … four?

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

Back in September, I wrote about how my husband, David, would like a second child, but I wasn’t ready. (Read it here.)

Well I’m still not ready, but I *am* going to be 37 in a couple of months so if we’re going to do it, I’ve accepted that we’re going to have to do it sooner rather than later.

Plus I’ve started to think another child might not be an utterly heinous nightmare. Don’t get me wrong, the idea still doesn’t fill me with bliss, but it doesn’t want to make me throw up or cry either (and yet the thought of giving birth again still does).

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Smug Married: Happy Anniversary

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

In my last column I mentioned that my and David’s 12th wedding anniversary was coming up. It’s actually on the 12th February so we don’t bother with Valentine’s Day. Incidentally, the 12th Feb is not only the date we met, it’s the date we started going out together (one year later) and the date we got married (one year after that). David has only one “important” date to remember and it’s so close to Valentine’s Day he’s unlikely to forget. He doesn’t know how lucky he is.

So anyway, the proximity to everyone else’s romantic day means that a) our wedding flowers were overpriced, b) if we want to go out for an anniversary meal, we need to book well in advance, c) we’re unlikely to ever go away for our anniversary since anything resembling a romantic mini break will have been marked up by at least 25% for the best part of February and d) every year everyone asks us what we’re doing/have done for Valentine’s Day and we always have to explain why the answer is nothing.

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GUEST BLOG: Brigit Sapstead

Women over 40 are increasingly marrying again, but getting married in mid-life throws up different issues from marrying when you’re younger.

Brigit Sapstead is having her wedding at Easter in Wells Cathedral and it will be a great time of joy and celebration, but she’s found that things are more complicated the second time around.

In particular, finding a dress has had Brigit tearing her hair out and she still hasn’t found the right thing. “I want something in which I will look radiant but not tarty, traditional, but not meringue,” she says. “But there is nothing for a 40-something who wants to look chic. I haven’t got the budget or the time to trawl the shops for the perfect dress”

This season especially, Brigit points out, the designers have done mid-life women no favours. “This season everything seems to be sleeveless and strapless, and I know I am going to be cold.” she says. That leaves her searching for a pashmina or some other sort of cover-up.

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Smug Married:

Keris Stainton‘s fortnightly column on married life…

I realised yesterday that there is one crucial aspect of married life that I haven’t yet addressed. No, not *whisper*bedroom activities (although, if you are interested in that area then I’m happy to share an amusing anecdote, but you’ll have to read until the end). No, it’s the in-laws.

And why did I realise this yesterday? Because I had the following conversation with my mother-in-law:

MIL: Keris?
Me: Hello.
MIL: I just wanted to ask you something…
Me (internally): Oh no. (externally) Oh yes?
MIL: Now I know you’re going to laugh…
Me: Oh no.
MIL: Are you and David all right?
Me (laughing – she was right!): Yes, we’re fine!
MIL: Oh, I just wondered because last night you seemed a big niggly with one another.

Now let me explain why me and D were niggly with each other because MIL wasn’t wrong, indeed we were. Our 12th wedding anniversary is next week and we had arranged to go out for a meal this Friday night (i.e. tomorrow night).

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