I'm not wild about wives taking their husbands' surname (yes, I did it, but I was young and didn't know any better), so I was interested to read this story on Jezebel about Kris Dyer who decided to take his wife's surname, rather than asking her to take his.

What surprised me - and Mr Myddleton nee Dyer - was how his friends reacted: "I always considered my friends to be pretty metropolitan, but they too seemed to have problems coming to terms with it. They thought I was joking; eventually I had to show them my new bank cards to get them to believe me. They kept asking 'Why?' People seemed vaguely disapproving, as if we were breaking a sacred rule."

I know this seems like a strange subject to revisit during the wedding planning, but I've got to assume that some people are reading Bridalwave who aren't quite engaged yet - I know I did. The other night we had a first for our relationship: our parents met each other, around a month after the big question.

Everyone I speak to has a different reaction to the fact that our parents did not meet until after we were engaged.

I'm sure many of you know a bride who has strategically chosen her bridesmaids perhaps because they would look elegant in the pictures or due to family politics... and you will also probably know someone who has picked her bridesmaids only to find one will now be heavily pregnant on the big day or taken to dying her hair shocking pink. So, what do you do? Some brides, apparently, would go as far as asking their attendants to sign a contract agreeing not to have a drastic haircut, get pregnant or even put on weight in the run up to the big day.

Whilst I've no doubt there are a few nodding heads thinking 'about time', isn't it a bit rich to interfere so much in someone else's life for the sake of your party?

We all know that the average wedding costs £17,000 but I'll make a guess that many of you don't have that kind of money floating around (I know I don't) and so will happily spend much less and keep the big cash for a house deposit or similar. But what about the brides who don't have the money, don't want the debt and still want a big wedding? Is a sponsored wedding the way to go?

According to bride Brook Breitenkamp and fiancé Chris Carlsen, who got the idea from US' Modern Bride magazine, it is. They had originally planned a small wedding in keeping with their budget but turned to the idea of a sponsored wedding. And what is one of those precisely? Simply, a company will foot the bill for an item of your wedding or provide it at a discount and in return they can advertise to your guests. In Breitenkamp and Carlsen's case they're offering advertising space on their wedding website, an ad in their programme given to guests on the day and will invite a company rep to mingle with guests.

A wedding ring for a man is still a tradition that is not to be taken for granted, so if your hubby-to-be has made that decision, just how decorated would he go? This interesting ring designed by Jeff Cooper has something really beautiful about it. The image really attracts me, I love the way the matt platinum cog style is really very masculine, but the diamonds prevent it from being run of the mill.

So is this too blinging? A little bit too Beckham for your man? Or perhaps just a debonair addition to an already well groomed groom? Available in the US from Michael C Fina.

Related: Debates – wearing rings | Would you wear a wooden ring?

Although Shoewawa readers would probably argue that Crocs shouldn't be worn anywhere, never mind to a wedding, I'm noticing a growing trend for brides to wear the plastic gardening shoes under their gowns. "They're comfortable!" they argue. "And they're fun!" Well, maybe - but my tatty old slippers are comfortable, and I wouldn't wear them to a wedding either!

What do you think of this trend? Do you think a pair of white, pearlised Crocs could be just the thing to slip on under your wedding dress, or will you be sticking to the more traditional wedding shoes - even if they're a little less comfortable?

Related: Christian Louboutin 'Tiffany' shoes | Bargain bridal footwear from Topshop
| Shoe clips

Tragically this title does actually refer to a real life radio competition about to start in New Zealand today. It could be a 'Blind Date' affair, but they appear to have taken it a step further in a twist on a (sometimes controversial) tradition, this is arranged marriage for the sake of ratings.

The Edge radio station will launch their ‘Three Strangers and a Wedding’ competition whereby a bride will meet two men at the altar, and then have to choose between them, before marrying the chosen one. They have done this before with a ‘marrying a stranger’ competition, where the brides friends and family choose a suitable beau for their friend (the same will happen here), and 8 and 4 years later, both couples are still married and with children. But surely this is a step too far?

If you’re still thinking about the whole name changing thing, and perhaps feeling like it will all be a big hassle, as with pretty much everything else to do with weddings, there’s a website to help. Name2name has taken on this daunting task and made it a whole lot easier.

Purchase one of their kits (valid in England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland) and you’ll be provided with a cd containing checklists and letter templates, including info for grooms wishing to go double-barrelled. With the ID card set to come in as law in 2009, and fines of up to £1000 for out of date documents, this is one kit worth investing in, £19.99

Related: US Based Name Change Kit | His & Hers Surnames debate

While weddings were originally a religious ceremony designed to show commitment to your spouse and to your god or chosen religion, it has grown into something much more egotistical and centres around the couple moreso than ever. So, if the religion has gone out of your life is it truly ethical to allow it a place in your wedding and your marriage?

Having attended many Christian weddings I have often internally remarked upon the hypocrisy of many couples choosing to 'marry before God' only to live a secular life after that union. This is the reason many modern and ethically conscious couples are opting for a Humanist union.

Choosing the stationery for your wedding invitations is a key part of your wedding planning, and many brides and grooms will spend hours searching for just the right stationery.

How would you feel about doing away with the stationery altogether, though, and simply sending out an email to invite guests to your wedding? That's what Waste Awareness Wales would like to see more people doing, saying that it's just one way to help minimise the environmental impact of a wedding. Wedding and etiquette experts, meanwhile have hit back, arguing that some of the measures proposed "damped the tradition" of the big day.

Yoko Ono did it, but would you dare to match her kooky sixties style and get wed in a mini? I'm a huge fan of vintage fashion and think this Karen Zambos dress is fantastic, but do you think it could be wedding fare for anyone?

A daring bride it would certainly take but if you're a mini lover and have the legs to carry this off this dress would look fantastic for an informal wedding or blessing. Do you think it's inappropriate or fantastic? If you're daring to be a vintage bride who's so casual you can buy this beautiful ivory mini dress from Shopbop for $324.

Related: Iconic brides: Yoko Ono

Tradition has it that it's close to unforgivable sin for anyone to wear white on a wedding day other than the bride. You wouldn't want to upstage the couple for one second, but does it count as one-upping the bride if her husband is the offender?

It's certainly something that should be left to flashier couples, who can take inspiration from the Beckham wedding, where David was clad all in white. On that occasion he was whiter than the bride herself! I personally don't think white suits are a good look on a man, but many of your may disagree. If you're happy to have your man in the spotlight as much as you or more, this suit is available from After Six. Me, I'll be expecting me and my future husband to embrace a more demure approach.

Related: Marc Wallace bespoke tailoring for grooms | Masterhand Menswear

Thanks in part to Cilla Black we all associate hats with weddings and the older lady. But are they still in fashion or is it all twee at best?

I've been at more weddings than your average (I used to play at services, I'm no curtain twitcher type in the back row!) and I've certainly noticed some head gear that's more Turner Prize winner than catwalk material. Truth be told hat-spotting was the favourite game. That said, I've noticed a decline of hat wearing guests in favour of fascinators and intricate hair styles.

It's undeniable that for most couples planning a wedding is a stressful time. Exciting as the whole experience is from proposal to honeymoon, the inbetweens have often been known to cause more than a few tiffs. But is handing the reins over to a professional really for you?

Of course the main reason many don't opt for a third party in planning their shindig is the cost, commission on top of paying for all those little details like table settings and flowers is a big ask. But even if money is no object, I'm not convinced it's the route to go.

A new survey by Debenhams Wedding Gift Service is taking another look at the sticky territory of which surname to use once the couple are married. Apparently a third of women plan to keep their own name with 7% refusing to take their husband's name. 45% say they don't want to lose their family name whilst 41% of women just prefer their own.

However, 51% of men said they would be extremely offended if their new wife didn't want their name with a third saying they would 'demand' a name change with 70% insisting on future offspring bearing the male surname.